A Testimony of Healing

...and a song based on the story of the bent over woman.

In Luke 13 we find the story of a woman who was all bent over, and couldn’t stand up straight.

Why? Why had she spent 18 years looking at the ground?

Perhaps she had a physical deformity; a birth defect. But Luke says that Satan had bound the woman, and it had been that way a long, long time.

As I thought about this story, I considered my own struggles with imperfect posture. It might sound like a small thing, but walking around with your shoulders slumped sends a message of weakness to those around you. It affects how people treat you. It affects how you think of yourself, too.

I’ve tried standing up straight. But it seemed impossible. Unnatural. Sometimes it even hurt to try. Slumping causes knots, too. After writing my book, I had to visit a PT every day for two weeks to be able to turn my head.

Although I wasn’t bent over parallel to the ground like the woman in Luke’s story, I still wished I could throw my shoulders back and walk into life with a smile.

There can be many reasons for developing bad posture—frequent computer use, non-ergonomic environments. But habitually hanging your head can also be a sign of trauma. As Bessel A. van der Kolk writes in The Body Keeps the Score:

“Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from their selves.”

I began to wonder about this woman’s life, what might have traumatized her, and why Jesus chose to call her a “Daughter of Abraham.”

Could it be that Satan, who is called the “father of lies,” had bound this woman not just physically, but emotionally? Could it be that she’d tried to stay small because of how she’d been mistreated in the past? Could it be that she was bound by lies about her worth, that she hung her head for so long she finally couldn’t lift it anymore? And could it be that Jesus’ title, “Daughter of Abraham,” was a truth which expelled those lies for good?

I don’t know. But I do know that her story really resonated with me. In fact, as I thought about it, I realized that I have believed lies, too. Lies that have left me bereft of confidence. That’s why good posture didn’t seem to “fit,” because it communicated something about me that wasn’t true on the inside. Because I didn’t feel like the kind of person who could enter a room with her chin up and shoulders back.

My parents love me, and so does my husband. But even for those in loving families, trauma can sneak up and surprise you, whether you go through war, sickness, loss, long-term and intense stress, bullying, witnessing the trauma of others, or any other difficult event. A friend of mine was put down by multiple people as a little girl because of a lazy eye—and thus she internalized the lie that she’d never be good enough, and nobody would ever love her.

Do you see that lie for what it is? It’s a targeted attack by the enemy! But our Lord is full of light and truth, and the truth sets us free.

I know that emotional and physical struggles often take time to heal, and sometimes we wait a lifetime, and place our hopes on eternity. So what I’m about to share isn’t to suggest that all healing is instant. But this past Saturday evening, as I recorded the following song I’d written about the woman Jesus called a “Daughter of Abraham,” I felt the Lord removing some of those deep-seated lies from my heart. A fearful tightness in my back untangled, and I truly sat up straight.

After that, I began to really see those lies, identify them, and reject them.

And—perhaps this will feel small to some, but it is a miracle to me, for I’ve wished for this for years—I’ve been standing tall all week.

It’s my prayer that God will reveal and set you free from any lies the devil has told you.

Here is Lifter of My Head.

Lifter of My Head

by Abigail Follows

Looked down so long, I’ve forgotten the sky

Too old, yet always feelin’ like an orphaned child.

It didn’t happen suddenly, I used to stand tall

But when you wanna disappear, you make yourself small.

Lifter of my head

I read your promises

I’m in the grip of an enemy

But I want to believe

Lifter of my head,

Lifter of my head,

I’m waiting.

Now you’re calling me to come, in front of them all.

I hesitate – wanna stay unnoticed and small.

But I cometo You, you tell me freedom awaits.

You reach out to me, I close my eyes and pray:

Lifter of my head

I claim Your promises

I’m in the grip of the enemy

But I want to believe

Lifter of my head,

Lifter of my head,

I’m waiting.

They called me nothin’

You call me Daughter of Abraham

They said I couldn’t do it

You commanded me to stand

They never saw my heart

You looked deeper

Looked at a barren field

And saw a treasure

Lifter of my head,

I love Your promises

Free from the enemy

I’ll always believe

Lifter of my head,

Lifter of my head,

I believe.